How to Stop Overthinking and Second-Guessing Yourself (Without Forcing Confidence)

For the woman stuck in her head, afraid to act, and craving clarity

Please stay tuned for the video essay that will be released within 24 hours here:

You’ve probably heard it before:

“Just trust yourself.”
“Be confident.”
“Stop overthinking and go for it.”

But if you’re anything like me—or like the women I work with—those words don’t land. They might even make you feel worse. And that’s difficult in the current age, which is steeped in a “girl-boss” culture that says, “You’re just limiting yourself.” Because when you’re caught in the loop of overthinking, second-guessing, and analysis paralysis, you don’t need a pep talk. You know you’re limiting yourself, but that doesn’t help you stop it.

You need a lifeline.

The Hidden Truth About Overthinking

Here’s what most people don’t understand:
Overthinking isn’t about indecisiveness. It’s about self-protection.

When your brain is constantly evaluating—“What if this is the wrong choice?” “What if I regret it?” “What will people think?”—it’s trying to keep you safe from discomfort, failure, embarrassment, or even rejection.

But that safety comes at a cost:
+ You start waiting for certainty before making a move.
+ You rehearse and rehash every decision in your head.
+ You start to question if you can trust your own judgment at all.

It’s exhausting. And lonely. Especially when you want to move forward, but your mind keeps screaming,
“Are you sure? Are you really sure?”

Why Confidence Doesn’t Work When You’re Shut Down

You don’t need to “just be more confident.”

When you’re frozen in self-doubt, trying to force confidence is like sprinting with a sprained ankle. Your nervous system is already overwhelmed. You don’t need pressure. You need grounding.

Clarity doesn’t come from thinking harder. It comes from feeling safer in your own body and decision-making process.

So What Actually Helps?

Here are three gentle shifts to help you move through overthinking—without needing to feel 100% confident first:

1. Shift from “What’s right?” to “What feels true for me right now?”
Overthinking thrives on perfectionism. It tells you there’s a “right” answer and punishes you for not finding it fast enough.

Instead, ask:
+ What decision feels most aligned with who I am, not just what I fear?
+ What choice would I make if I wasn’t trying to avoid discomfort?

You don’t have to feel 100% sure. You just have to feel connected to your inner compass—even if it’s quiet right now.

2. Interrupt the mental spiral with micro-movement
You don’t need to overhaul your life or “figure it all out.”

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is make one small, embodied decision:
→ Write one sentence.
→ Send one message.
→ Take one deep breath and ask, “What’s the next kindest step?”

Action breaks the overthinking loop—not because it’s bold, but because it’s real. It reminds your nervous system that you’re capable of moving.

3. Talk to your fear with compassion, not desperation
Most of us try to argue with fear: “I can’t think like this anymore. I can’t do it.”
But fear isn’t a debate—it’s a part of you that wants to be heard.

Try this instead:
+ “Hey fear, I see you. I know you’re trying to protect me. But I’m safe enough to take this step now.”
It may sound simple, but this kind of self-reassurance builds the internal trust that confidence is built on.

You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to move with kindness.

You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’ve just been taught to believe that certainty and confidence are prerequisites for action.

But what if clarity came after the step—not before it?

What if confidence wasn’t something you wait for, but something you cultivate by showing up anyway, with compassion, courage, and curiosity?

I know that these are hard concepts to internalize when you’re programmed for the exact opposite. But you can change. You can begin to re-wire that kind of thinking, and that’s what I’m here for. You don’t have to do it alone—and you don’t have to do it all at once. You can build trust with yourself—one gentle decision at a time.

PS: If this spoke to something in you, I’d love to hear what part landed.
Drop a comment or send me a message—I always read them. 💛

With love,

Anna